It’s a sign of the times, when a gadget gets more fan mail than John Lennon did when he conquered America in 1964. Indeed, the latest iPhone launch has certainly usurped the World Cup, the BP oil spill, and um, the selling of Michael Jackson’s glove for $190,000, for headlines in the last week. Yep, that’s the world we live in, and the message is, you’re either with us (Apple) or against us (whoever the other company is making that ugly bit of plastic sitting on your desk).
Forget about…the moon landing, the freeing of Nelson Mandela, women’s right to vote, the discovery of penicillin, plate tectonics, the democratic process, abolition of slavery, the Arab/Israeli conflict, global hunger, the ozone layer, the fantastic engineering feat of the human body, earthly and non-earthly love, spiritual transcendence, a perfect homemade ice cream procured on a hot, July day in Paris, a cure for cancer, and of course, world peace. All of this is dust on a windowsill in comparison to the bloody iPhone.
In fact, we will sleep rough for several days outside of the Apple store on Regent Street, we will spend every waking moment online trying to pre-order one, we will make videos of ‘it’ and post them on YouTube the minute we buy the new one – not to gloat, but as an instructional aid, mind you – we will even contemplate mugging the bastard in the office who gets one first, and we will of course be eternally happy once we’re holding the 25% thinner new generation model in our sweaty, clenched palm.
Oh, the pathos of the modern age. Isn’t it sad that we’re reduced to lumpen, avaricious consumerists forever chasing the latest ‘thing’ to take our collective minds off of our minds?
…Mine arrives next week! I can’t wait!
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